summer, 2010.
I haven’t blogged in forever, but in short, here is what I’ve been thinking/feeling/experiencing this summer:
- my spiritual life is dry, dry, dry. Sometimes it makes me angry, but normally, just apathetic. I don’t want to fight sin or do good works when I can’t see Christ. and I haven’t been able to see Christ all summer.
- I miss home way more than I thought I would. This week is FLYING by, and there are so many things I want to do and people I want to see and I don’t want to waste my time. I LOVE it here.
- In high school, I would only hang out with friends from church because I felt like I was supposed to, but really, I’d only want to spend time with my other friends. Now, I feel like I’m supposed to hang out with those other friends, but really, I only want to hang out with my friends from church. life is funny like that.
- I turned 21 and found out that I’m not irresponsible.
- It always amazes me how predictable I am. The people who know me best know things about me long before I do, but really, it’s never that hard to figure out. ever. I’m predictable and easy to read. But, I’m learning more and more how pessimistic I am, too. There’s so much I’m dissatisfied with, but I don’t really believe it will ever change – especially because it doesn’t really depend entirely on me. My pessimism is 100% without a doubt a defense mechanism, and it probably kills a lot of good things, but I can’t get my hopes up. ever.
- I still often wish I knew the future. At least, my future. But that’s because I believe the “Things will get better when ____________” lie.
- I believe a lot of lies and a lot of the time I’m strangely afraid to embrace what I know is true.
- I love where Jesus talks about the Father knowing how to give good gifts.
